SPAM & EGGS DEPT.
SPAM... Unwanted Email, Clogged Bandwidth and the
problem with “Cutesies” Special Commentary By Don Jibaro
My friend from Bayamón, Chebo and I no longer share the
philosophy of life through email anymore. Now he just
sends me "forwards" that he collects from the Internet
or that people send to him. What once was a profound
exchange of "nuggets of truth" between friends has
become a bombardment of "cutesies". Cutesies (cute
things) are those snippets that you get forwarded from
someone who got it forwarded to him by someone who...
well, you get the idea, don't you?
The problem with the CUTESIES started a while back with
some folks who just got their new PCs and wanted to
"bless" their EMAIL acquaintances with an otherwise
uplifting message. Then they started sending poems, then
jokes, then ANYTHING that they thought it was WORTH
reading. The snowball GREW so big that now a good 25% of
ALL EMAIL is "The Forwarding of Cutesies" and stories of
little girls in wheelchair that won't get HMO care
unless you forward the case to ten email addresses, who
will in turn, forward it to ten more, and.... YIKES !!!!
Now, for the sake of imagery, picture the INTERNET being
a huge HIGHWAY (let's call it "bandwidth").... with
"on-ramps" and "exits" for you to get on and off.
WEBSITES are "stops" on that HIGHWAY where you go and
visit, shop or browse, then get back on the "highway"
and surf off into another sunset. Also, bear in mind
that, according to InterNic, Inc. (the people who
register websites), approximately ONE MILLION of NEW
websites are set up every single day. So what yesterday
looked like the quaint little country road, today may
look like downtown Hato Rey during RUSH HOUR...!!!
YESSSS.... The WEB grows... wider, taller, deeper,
THICKER...!!! So imagine people exchanging business
memos, "recetas pa' pasteles
y tostones" and relevant correspondence on that HIGHWAY
while at the same time others are FORWARDING "cutesies"
(even without deleting the previous messages that get
attached to them automatically). That single message
(text only) that was 3 kilobytes in size, is now 5kb,
then 10, then 20, and so on and on. GRAPHICS oriented
messages are from 50kb to 100 kb BIG !!! Remember that
one Megabyte is ten of those, or 1,000 kb... OK? How
long before your 2 Meg Hotmail account will be filled
Do you follow me so far?
Just as we inadvertedly pollute the air, water and the
whole cosmos... we also pollute the Internet bandwidth
with unnecessary and unsolicited EMAIL (called SPAM, cuz
nobody wants it and tastes funny... hee, hee). Hundreds
of sites, business and otherwise, are now set up to
battle SPAM and BP (Bandwidth Pollution). So there you
have it.... more internet traffic !!!
¡¡¡Mire Compay, Ay bendito!!! ...I do not forward,
instead I cut and paste; and because I have a WEBSITE, I
try to keep the BANDWIDTH clear. That's like sweeping
your sidewalk and driveway, etc. so your ex-wife (or
ex-hubby) can come visit you.
Here are some reasons why we didn't like cutesies... They clog the bandwidth (the internet highway) It's SPAM (plain and simple, unsolicited stuff) It slows down many of the SERVERS and PCs of low budget
folks like me... IT FILLS UP the MAILBOX before you can say "miranenesalsipuedes"...
In one reader's case, most cutesies sent to him were
over 84k each !!!, the regular message being 3k... so
everyday his email got PAST the 2 megs allotted for his
acct. because some fool was sending him 8 to 10 a day...
JUST TO GIVE HIM A HARD TIME!
The other problem with "CUTESIES" is that those who send
them AND forward them think they are going to "BLESS"
the recipient with a RANDOM message that may or may not
apply to their life at that moment, while their model
486 PC gets thrown OUT of WHACK because the DARN
MESSAGES are 100k BIG !!!!
¿Hello? Then they forward STUFF with hundreds of carets
>>>>>> on them, THAT YOU CAN HARDLY READ the darn thing!
That is witness to the fact that THEY don't know how to
cut and paste to send a decent readable message, or that
they think that they are going to "bless" the recipient
with a message that you have to get cross-eyed to
decipher... or because they got blessed, OTHERS "SHALL"
WILL BE BLESSED TOO!
Spammers should be selective and send those things to
those who they know for sure will enjoy them. I have a
website that provides a SERVICE and I need clean
bandwidth. JIBAROS.COM is dishing out virtual
cuchifritos, music & bacalaitos possibly to a Puerto
Rican soldier stationed in Tazmania, Freedonia or some
remote place on this forsaken Earth and hasn't been in
PR in years.
So... dear friend, IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY that
day... Then say nothing! Nothing is good enough and
there's NOTHING WRONG with that! The internet gives us
BORICUAS an opportunity to validate and express our "PUERTORRICANISMO"
hopefully through intelligent and wise DIALOGUE. Get
back to STAND on your Boricua soapbox and say: "¡Ay
bendito, dame cuchifrito, quiero güineito, aunque sea
virtual. DAME UN CANTITO DE BORINQUEN, CARAMBA!"
C'mon, bring the MEMORIES. Bring the "chancletas" and
spank your own butts into a revival of OUR ROOTS, our
customs. LETS SHARE that which you know is going to make
the next person say... "AY bendito, (snif) QUE LINDO ES
SER BORICUA !!!!." (IF YOU MUST SHARE a quotation or a
poem, you can copy and paste the text of the "cutesie"
and send it without the heavy graphics, y'know, PLAIN
TEXT... that will work! Ah... and teake out the carets
The wonderful Boricua pride is the ONE THING WE ALL HAVE
in common. Let's share that!